Full allowance that most business owners operate on the premise that folx owe them a purchase to provide the basics. Of like human life. Perhaps the commodification paradigm is the problem that you keep projecting on harmed folx with basic needs.

So. We need - bathroom access. I realize it's like 6 bucks on average for that, or else the once every 8 block library. But like. Tell me why this is a "paid" thing. And if so, why you legit defend that privilege knowing that excludes folx driven out of their spaces. Ah the snobbery. Not to mention - projected shame

We also need - outlets for charging phones tablets and laptops. If womxn are out trying to survive predators, PERHAPS that's like just a basic and legit need. Please think for 3 seconds.

We need a lot more than that. ALOT more... These are two miniscule baseline requirements - not like oh thanks you thought of us. Wow bonus. Requirements. For surviving the next few hours.

Yes tho capitalism teaches you that's not your responsibility... Clock the lies folx we are actually dependent on each other and always were. Colonialist lies of bootstraps and self responsibility are how they keep us at war. Even as I write this I am in St Lawrence Market and some white middle aged guy practically just sat on me. WTF

But like I lived for many years being targeted by a sociopathic rapist and having to actually hunt and pay my way - through legislated gatekeeping. Of not even safety - of basic survival reaources. Legitimately I know there is a lot of performative and "approved" support... However womxn on the ground living this are left in the dust. Listen to us - survivors, surviving. We're not lying about basic fucking needs. Check yourselves

I am supported rn by an incredible partner, but he cannot fix all the other conditions of harm. Nor should he.

The collosal abandonment of womxn's lived experience is in the best case scenario embarrassing for those in a position to neglect us.

I am 4 months - after everything I have been thru - estranged from my home.

Make this make sense. Spoiler - it doesn't.

I need to have an in depth conversation with the folx who have caused harm in my life. I need to know their story, and they need to know their impact on me. It needs to be a relational process, not a strong armed one where the systems that cause all of this in the first place make a spectacle of us both.

Beyond that - yeah interesting how none of us can have a legit convo with the systems and structures that cause harm. Interesting eh? No one can answer for systems. Just think about that for a sec. Patriarchy capitalism, colonialism.

Healing is a process that is communicative. And relational. And it can happen for us both - both me and my rapist. Cops and cages - like no. Shame punishment and grandstanding is colonial trash and not what folx - especially survivors and yes perps - need. Take two seconds and realize that the colonial "legacy" or legit terrorism is 💯 why offenders feel that this is their only path to agency. Cops you're blind af and indoctrinated to the max. Stop worshipping a structure of annihilation and judgement. Sorry not sorry.

Burn patriarchy, colonialism and capitalism. For fucks sakes.

I don't need colonial systems to assert authority over my lived expertise and needs, assert and center themselves in my own rape, and call me a witness in my own rape. Hello fuckers I endured a gun in my face and vile SA, at 15. And it's aftermath. NOT you folx! White savior complex extreme. Also erasure of the actual outcome of a systematized war on humans to uphold... Just what exactly. You folks can't see. Crime is a canary in the coal mine response to a toxic af world, and cops - you just want to uphold yr legacy and the status quo.

Give up your game cops and courts, survivors know the path through. We seriously do. We have learned the ultimate embracing of our experience, and thus self love. Possibly one of the only tools to dismantle a mechanized capitalist war on us all.

Colonialism and it's systems is precisely WHY SA happens folx. It is not in any way shape or form the answer to the harm it creates.

Courts at the very best USE survivors, completely rob us of agency, expertise, our clearly stated needs. All to uphold a legacy which causes this in the first place. I dunno it's pretty clear at this point.

I will not erase myself - or him - and as I am being forced to go the criminal route - they will hear their impact.

I found out about the concept of psychogeography from a very interesting TMU prof named Ted Hiebert. Basically the idea condensed is that given your geographical location, your psychology, identity, sense of self and functionality will change. Psyc, cogsci, and geography influencing identity and sense of self, including functioning. When I was renovicted in 2012-2013 whilst in very severe abuse initiated mental health crisis - by house flipping douchebag realtors I truly learned what this phenomenon ACTUALLY means. All of a sudden the elements of my psyche that my apartment normally contained - templates of memory, relations to objects, histories and narratives had literally no place to go. ReMax agents broke into, took over and flipped my apartment. While I was living in it. Meanwhile, I had not slept in 6 months due to abuse - quite literally hadnt- and had been subject to numerous life threatening incidences of SA. I managed to “stay in control” (whatever that means thanks colonial social work wtf) by orienting my psyche, memories and place to OTHER locations. Vic Park in London was one, the market was another, and to be honest within constructs of colonialism and the fact that money dictates place/land/ space, this got wild. If it - tokenism and money - does not equate to place and space “legitimacy”,, all the things many folx take for granted, what happens when that is restricted... To yr psyche, to what contains and holds your psychology... All the “vessels” change. I know for a fact most people don’t understand how their housing construct basically creates the template for their personality to operate. Until they lose it. That was splintered for me at a time when I was denied ODSP, and literally every purchase became a translation point for my identity. Trust me colonialism I get your perpetuation deal. Conquer carry yourself forward so your narrative perpetuates. I just wouldn’t extend that kind of construct to other humans, and kept it to trees and what not. As minimal as possible.

I just - today- got ALL of my work done in the Beaches Library. Stuff I couldn’t do for two weeks with my neighbor being a dick. Or anywhere else with zero dollars. I for one have a shit ton of problems with the literal white atmosphere of the beaches. It’s horrifying. However I basically transferred my psyche here for 4 years after running from asshole landlords and advanced predators. I have realized I can function in the beaches neighborhood and library at a level that... Post homelessness, is FAR different. After homelessness I wound up eventually on the west end. After psychosis as well.

I don’t think we as white people honestly understand that the efficiency we can operate within results from having these material needs “met”... Or like, actual fucking land stolen so we can function at a specific level that others cannot. Seriously.

It is interesting however... How my writing on the west end of the city is far more nuanced, complex, and has a lot more depth than my writing which is “functionally efficient” in the beaches. I lived here prior to 6 months of homelessness and psychiatric abuse. Psychogeography and I would argue psychohistory can create the paradigm or template we live within. Which ENABLES functioning. This has a huge impact in terms of housing access, ability to work, agency, and homelessness.

Maybe we need to write these ecological narratives differently. It’s not as simple as I have or haven’t been homeless. Those are two different universes.

Our nervous systems are far more intelligent than we are.